Happy 4th of July! Not only am I celebrating our country’s 240th anniversary of gaining independence, but also my own independence as well. As I love to announce all the time, I am divorced and couldn’t be happier. When I signed my divorce papers, it was like signing my own Declaration that I would no longer be unhappy, criticized, or restricted from doing what I wanted to do.
The most famous line from the Declaration of Independence is inarguably the following:
“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men [and women!] are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.”
This statement on human rights says we have the right to be free and happy. Thomas Jefferson is giving you permission to do whatever you would like to do. Pretty cool, right?
Which brings me to my deeper topic for today: Declaring independence from verbal and emotional abuse.
By tolerating this abuse, one is forfeiting their right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. Often times this abuse happens in relationships, and more often it is the woman who is on the receiving end. If your partner is consistently criticizing you, humiliating you, putting you down, or always making you feel like you are wrong and they are right, you may be experiencing emotional abuse. Overtime, this poor treatment can seriously damage one’s self esteem to the point where they can no longer see that they are being manipulated and don’t have the strength to leave the relationship. NO woman deserves to be a victim of emotional and verbal abuse. I have zero tolerance for any man telling me what to do or criticizing me. I am a strong, smart, independent woman and so are you!
Here is a link to a great article on this subject. http://liveboldandbloom.com/11/relationships/signs-of-emotional-abuse. It provides 30 signs of emotional abuse. I referenced a similar article when I suspected I was being emotionally abused. No one needs to put up with it.
So in honor of this wonderful holiday, I will be introducing yet another shirt in the coming weeks – INDEPENDENT STATE. Stay tuned. And Stay Positive!
Today is my 34th birthday. Four years ago today, I woke up in my bedroom of a condo I shared with my now ex-husband and realized how unhappy I was. I wasn’t happy in my marriage, my job, my life. I decided I didn’t want to wake up on my 80th birthday and regret not taking control of my life and making myself happy. In the next four years, I would get divorced, enroll in Boston College’s MBA program, move into an apartment in downtown Boston, get a new job, meet my dog Frankie, and gain some of the nicest friends I have ever had. I also decided to start innerSTATE. For me, the products are more than just prints on shirts. They are the emotions and states I have experienced in the four years since deciding to change my life. Anyone who has made a major life change understands how hard it is to make the choice to leave the old life behind, with no idea what is on the other side. But the risk is worth it!! It’s never too late to make a change and make yourself happy! I am grateful every day for the challenges and blessings that are in my life. As I walk to work each morning, I make a list of 10 things I am grateful for. And it can be simple things, like being grateful to have two legs that get me to work each day, or two eyes that get to see the wonderful city of Boston, or my iced coffee in the morning (coffee addict!), or bigger things, like having two parents that are my best friends and nephews and a niece that I love to bits.
Three new summer tank tops will be hitting the site next week, one of which I am very excited about. It’s a hot pink tank with the words ORIGINAL STATE. To bring something back to its original state is to restore it, bring back to good health, and to bring back into existence. I made this shirt for anyone who has been broken or sick and who has or wants to come out of a struggle on the other side to their original state of being. Wear this shirt as a reminder of how hard you have worked or as motivation to get where you want to be. Stay Positive.
Hi all! First blog post, so here it goes:
While manning my booth at SoWa over the weekend, I obviously saw and heard many shoppers walk past and look at my tops. A lot of women loved the idea, some were wishing I had other states printed on the shirts (hint: rhymes with witchy), and one woman wasn’t sure she wanted her current mood on a t-shirt for all to see. The last observation, really got me thinking, Why are people afraid to be happy, and in this woman’s case, why are they afraid to show it? It’s been proven by some psychologists that happiness is indeed a choice. We can choose to be happy or not happy. At some point we will find ourselves in situations that don’t make us happy. But what is stopping us from abandoning that which causes the unhappiness? Maybe it’s your job, a boyfriend or husband, an apartment, the city you live in. Sometimes it seems easier to stay at a job we hate and continue a relationship that brings us down instead of updating that resume and dumping him. Fear of the unknown is common, but isn’t it really a fear of being happy? No one is going to make decisions for us about how to live our lives, and luckily here in America, we can do anything we want. We have the freedom and the power to make our own decisions and choose to be happy. I for one don’t want to wake up when I’m 80 and regret not letting myself be happy. So what are you waiting for? Go out and get the things that you want. And even when you get the things you want, you can still be even happier. Meditation, an attitude of gratitude, living in the present, and having great friends can all boost your happiness even more.